Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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