Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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