found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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