sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
