I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
