I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
wow bdsm is so cute
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