ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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