We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize