96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
