Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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