those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
