Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
