Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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