That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
