maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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