I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
