Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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