okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
