Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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