just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
