Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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