If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
