dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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