Buhtt sex?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
