Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need moral support for this bender
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize