It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
