So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
