I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
