What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is Oprah even human
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
