It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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