when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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