On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
