That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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