No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
