Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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