K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
