I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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