I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
