Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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