were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
