you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What drink are we having for lunch?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
