the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
should my penis look like a turkey
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
