just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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