I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
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