I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
