I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
