she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
