I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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