I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize