you win again, gameday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
