I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize