And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ketchup is God's man juice
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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