Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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