Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
