it wasn't lemon gatorade
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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