I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
