She's JV to your varsity
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
