Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
