i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
