she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize